She’s the mother of the late Eric Garner.  Tonight, she’s fighting for her son’s rights. She’s protesting in front of Staten Island Town Hall, 18 Richmond Terrace  in Staten Island for Justice, Peace and Equality.  She’s fighting for her son Eric – Who Could Not Breathe.

SKII:  How was Eric as a child?

Mrs. Carr:  Eric was a very large baby when he was born.  He weighed 8 pounds and 14 ounces and he was solid.  Although Eric appeared to be healthy, he actually wasn’t.  He was very sick as a baby. He had “Upper Respiratory” problems. We weren’t able to bring my baby home at first because of his sickness.  But then the doctors allowed us to bring him home on the weekends.  We had to bring Eric back to the hospital on Monday mornings, so that the doctors could monitor his breathing during the week..  The doctors were afraid to let him come home permanently because of his sickness. Eric spent 9 months in the hospital

As Eric grew older, he was able to play and run but not as much as the other kids.  He was still having problems with his breathing.  We lived in the Gowanus Projects.  That’s where Eric was raised until the age of 12.   He went to P.S. 32, and then on to Junior High School 51. When he was 12, I bought a house on Troy Avenue in Brooklyn and that’s where Eric and his siblings grew up. Eric was very friendly.  He had a lot of friends.  Every time Eric brought company to the house from school, Eric would say; mom this is my friend.  I used to tell Eric, everyone that you meet is not your friend.  But he didn’t care about what I said, because Eric considered everyone to be his friend.  Eric went to Automotive High School where he graduated.  After high school, he went to college in Ohio where he was studying to become a mechanic.  He had to learn a lot about automobiles and diesel trucks.  But due to Eric’s health issues, he couldn’t complete the training.  He had other jobs after that, but nothing in his field of training.  He couldn’t work on automobiles and he couldn’t be around the fumes of working in that type of environment because of his sickness. Eric became a little discouraged about the type of jobs he was able to get.  But you would not have known it because he always appeared to be happy.

Of all of the holidays that came and went throughout the years Eric loved Christmas the most. That’s why this Holiday season will be especially difficult for me. I love Christmas as well. Eric used to reminisce about every toy he received from me and how old he was when he received it.  That made us both laugh.  He used to amaze me with his memory of every toy he received as a child. I always bought him and his brother the same toys.  They never had to share anything.  Eric always told me “I gave him and his siblings a good life.”  I never really thought about that.  I knew I had to work to make sure my children had everything they needed but, I never really sat back and patted myself on the back for doing that because, that’s what a mother and or father is supposed to do.  They are supposed to take care of their children. But when Eric said that to me, it made me mushy inside, just to hear that from your children, you know you’ve done well by them.

Eric and his siblings lost their father when they were very young.  Their father had High blood Pressure.  One day, their father sustained a heart attack which ultimately led to his death.  So I was the bread winner for a while.  I had no problems with Eric being disobedient.  He never talked back to me.  He was very disciplined.  As they grew older, Eric and his brother were very big boys for their age.  People used to ask me, are you afraid of your boys?  Are you afraid that one day, they were going to snap back at you?  I would say NO.  Because it’s about the way you raise your children.  I said, Discipline comes from the crib.  I taught them to respect people and I raised them that way.  I raised them to respect everyone, especially their elders.  I always told them to respect me as your mother because I am going to respect you.  I believed in order to get respect, you have to give respect.  That’s how my children were raised. Eric was not a bad kid, he was very humble.  He respected everyone.  Even if you were doing something wrong to him, Eric never disrespected them. Don’t get me wrong, he protected himself from crazy and evil people but, he always respected you, no matter who you were.

Eric was always happy as a kid and it carried with him into adulthood.  You would always find a smile on his face.  If you were sad, Eric would talk to you and ask what’s wrong.  How can I help you get through this storm?  That was another thing he would say.  I will be there; I have your back; are some of the other things Eric said or did  to make someone happy again.  As a whole, Eric enjoyed life.  I know my son wasn’t perfect.  Eric was arrested before for selling Loose Cigarettes.  My heart went to my belly when I heard that he went to jail.  When Eric came out of jail, he tried not to sell loose cigarettes again.  I didn’t think, selling Loose Cigarettes was such a big crime.  And it isn’t.  No one should have to die for a crime like that. They killed my son.  The penalty for selling loose cigarettes is not death.  I thought if he was a white Eric Garner in Suffolk County, he would have received a summons instead of a chokehold which ultimately killed him.  That white Eric Garner definitely would not have received a death sentence.

SKII:  You have other children. Was Eric the oldest or the youngest?

Mrs. Carr:  Eric was my first born child, he was the oldest. Eric was born 3 months before Christmas.  Eric had his first Christmas when he was three months old.  As I mentioned to you earlier, Eric was a sick baby.  So to have him with me on Christmas was wonderful.  His eyes lit up with the lights.  There were one Christmas when he wore a Santa suit.  He had his little Santa hat on too.  He looked so cute.  I bought Eric everything because he was my first born child.  I gave him everything because he could have died from his respiratory problems.  But GOD kept him with me for a while.  I have to thank GOD for allowing me to spend that time with him.

I had another son, Eric’s younger brother Emery.  Emery died 18 years to the date of the Washington DC march on December 13 of this year.  Emory was killed during a robbery.  He was on vacation when someone robbed him and then killed him.  I couldn’t believe it then when Emery was killed 18 years ago and I still can’t believe it now because my oldest son Eric was killed too. A child is not supposed to die before their parents.  Kids are supposed to make sure their parents are taken cared off after their death from being old.  When my son Emery died on December the 9^th of 1996, we had his funeral on December the 13^th of 1996.  When he died, it just turned my life around.  I was speechless for a while.  And now, my oldest son Eric was killed 18 years later.  Eric’s death wasn’t due to a random robbery.  He was killed by someone who was supposed to protect us.  He was killed by the hands of the Police.  I’ve been down this road before.  And I had to go down that road again.

While I was raising my children, I raised my 2 nephews Joe (we called him Little Joe), Steven and a niece Kim because their mother and father died.   My brother and sister-in-law  both died at an early age.  My sister-in-law died from a blood clot that went straight to her brain.  She was only 29 years old at the time.  My brother, I always said, he died of a broken heart at the age of 33.  My mother helped me raise them.  Everyone thought my children and my niece and nephews were all brothers and sisters.  (Mrs. Carr began to reminisce about her nephew)  Last year in October, I lost one of my nephews.  It was a big thing that occurred in Newark New Jersey. My nephew, Little Joe lived in Union New Jersey which is a very nice town.  He was well known in Jersey.  He was respected by everyone.  My nephew actually campaigned with the Mayor in Jersey. My nephew worked in Newark, New Jersey which is a dangerous.  It’s known to be the rough side of Jersey.  Anyway, my nephew owned a store in that part of town.   Little Joe never opened his store on a Sunday.  No matter what, he just wouldn’t.  That was his rest day.  One particular Sunday, he opened his store. It was because of a Halloween costume or something like that.  Well, as he opened the store, 3 young kids saw him.  They followed him into his store.   The 3 young kids then robbed and killed him in his own store.  So when I told you I’ve been down this road before, I am not lying to you.  I’ve been going through it.  I don’t know how I am still here.  He was loved by everyone and he loved everyone too.  The Mayor, other council members, they were all at his funeral. They gave his wife a Citation in honor of  him.  Here I am, trying to get over the loss of him and this happens a year later with my son Eric.  Yes.  It’s on going.  This year has been rough.  I lost little Joe at the end of last year and then Eric this year in July.  It seems like it never stops.  I’ve had my share.  I’ve truly had my share.

On the lighter side of things, My other nephew – Steve, who works in a studio  and Eric’s oldest daughter Erica,  decided to write a song in memory of his cousin and her father Eric.  The song is completed and they are in the working phase of doing  a video which they  will  dedicated to him.  It should be completed soon.

SKII:  Are you fighting because of your son alone? 

Mrs. Carr:  I’m fighting because of my son Eric and his brother Emery.  I’m fighting because of my brother, his wife and my nephew- little Joe.  I’m tired and I am still fighting.  If this had happened  to  me, I know they would have been doing the same for me.  They wouldn’t hesitate to do it.  My kids, my nephews and niece, they were all on the same page. Growing up  They knew not to mess with me when they were young and as an adult.  They tried me sometimes.  You know how kids are.  They did their wrong things but, they never did anything disrespectful in my face.  They were always respectful and the wrong things were corrected once I found out about it.  I always treated them the same.  My children were never treated different from my niece and nephews..  As far as I am concerned, they were all my children.

SKII:  I’m fast forwarding to that fatal day when your son Eric was killed.  Everyone saw what happened to Eric on video.  The whole world did.  How did you find out about Eric?

Mrs. Carr.  I was at work.  I work for New York City Transit Authority as an Operator for the trains.  I was operating a train from Coney Island to Astoria.  We are not allowed to have our phones on while operating a train.  When I got to Astoria, I had a 33 minute break in between getting back onto the train and taking it to my next assignment.  Usually I would sit on the platform during the summer.  And that’s what I did that day.  When I turned my phone on to see if anybody left me any messages or you know, who can I bother today, there were a lot of messages on my phone.  When I spoke to some of the people who had left messages, they said,  they heard Eric had a confrontation with the cops.  They didn’t know what it was.  They just said, that’s what I heard.  They said the cops grabbed Eric and he had a heart attack.  This is what they kept telling me.  Everyone was saying I heard this and they heard that.  It was making me so upset.  I told them I was going to leave work and come home.  So I went upstairs and tried to “Book Off (Booking Off is when you try to take leave from work- transit) and hurry home.  I thought to myself and said; I’m all the way in Astoria Queens.  If I book off now, I will have to find a way to get back to Coney Island.  So, I Didn’t Book Off at that time.  I Got back on my train and I tried to get back to Coney Island as fast as I can.  I needed to get back.   I will Book Off there.

I wanted to get home as quickly as I can.  I wanted to find out what’s going on with Eric.  I called my husband and I told him to meet me at the job because I needed to go home.  I heard something happened to Eric and I need to leave work to find out what happened.   I told him to call and try to find out before I get there. I was so hysterical because of all of those disturbing phone calls.  When I got back to Coney Island with my train, I was walking to the administrative office to Book Off, when I saw my husband in the Administrative office waiting for me.  Usually they don’t allow anyone in the administrative office.  Obviously he found out what happened but he didn’t tell me right away.  When I got close to him I said, I told you to wait downstairs.  What are you doing up here?  He said, you told me to meet you here so, I came up here.  I told my job, I got to leave.  Something had happened to my son.  I don’t know what.  But, I have to go.  My job said it was ok and they allowed me to sign out.  They already knew what happened because my husband told them.

When we got into the car, all of those calls started coming through again.  I said, Why are these people calling me?  I began to get agitated.  I was constantly asking my husband, “What is going on? “  What’s going on?  He said, I don’t know.  Let’s get home to see what it is.  He was trying to get me home before he would tell me what happened.  I guess I must have been acting up or something.  I really don’t remember how I was acting.  I made him tell me what was going on.  He started crying as he did.  I just went ballistic.  I think I blanked out.  He said, I was trying to kick the windshield out.  I was trying to open the door as he was driving the car in traffic.  He said I was acting crazy.  He was trying to calm me down.  He kept saying, Gwen – we are going to be home soon.  He was trying to get me back to Staten Island as soon as possible.  I was just out of it.  When we finally reached home in Staten Island, my husband helped me upstairs.  I saw the neighbor and she tried to comfort me.  It still didn’t hit me.  It didn’t fully register to me that my son was dead.  It was only until the Daily News tried to come and talk to us.  At that time we needed to talk to someone to let them know what happened.  We told them we don’t want them to print anything except for what we actually said.  He said, I will let you know what I’m going to print.  I will print exactly what you said.  After they asked us all of the questions, they said, we have a video.  No one has seen it yet.  But, we have a video showing exactly what happened to your son in front of that store.  He said, you will see it tomorrow morning.

SKII: Why did you have to wait until tomorrow morning to see that video?

Mrs. Carr:  Because they were going to put what we said in the papers the next day and during the same time,  they were going to show us the video.  So when morning came, I would say about 6:00 in the morning, my brother-in-law brought the papers downstairs and in the newspaper, it showed what happened to Eric frame by frame.  It was in the Daily News on the front page.  And then around 8:00 AM, we started seeing the video on television.  Once I saw the video and saw exactly what had happened to Eric, I almost lost my mind.  I began screaming and yelling, punching walls.  My Eric was dead.  Afterwards, I just couldn’t watch the video any more.

*Mrs. Carr continued to tell me her story, when someone called her on her phone to tell her that everyone had gone to the next location to protest. (The next location was in front of the beauty supply store where Eric had died.)  We finally arrived at the beauty supply store.  Mrs. Carr had  joined the protestors as they all laid out on cardboards, on the street in front of the Location where Eric – her son had died, by the hands of the Police.  Everyone began singing:      

“WE AIN’T GONNA STOP, TILL PEOPLE ARE FREE, 

 I CAN HEAR MY BROTHER SAYING  I CAN’T BREATHE             

CAUGHT UP IN A STRUGGLE, I CAN’T LEAVE.

CALLING OUT THE VIOLENCE OF THE RACIST POLICE

WE’RE NOT GOING TO STOP UNTIL THE PEOPLE ARE FREE.”

(After the Lay-out was over, I resumed my interview with Mrs. Carr.)

Mrs. Carr:  Everything the Daily News told us was true.  The story was told the way we said it.  We saw the video and couldn’t believe our eyes.  I became irate by the way they (the police) were on top of my son and I could hear my son saying clear as day, “I CAN’T BREATHE.”  “I CAN’T BREATHE.”  “I CAN’T BREATHE.”   It just saddened my heart when I saw that Police Officer put my son in a choke hold.  You can see it plain as day.  As plain I can see my hand in front of me.   That’s how clear that video was.  It showed everything.  The   News on television  showed that video over and over and over again.  It came to a point where I couldn’t stand to see it.  I stopped looking at the news.  I would cut the television of whenever the news was coming on.  It was so devastating.  I can’t stand to see it now.  My son died in July and here we are in December and  it still hurts like it was yesterday.  

SKII:  When Police Officer Panteleo apologized for what had happened, how did you feel?

Mrs. Carr:  It was too late for that.  Not only was it too late, he did not show any remorse or consideration when he had my son on that ground and my son was begging for his life.  That was the time for him to have some sort of remorse and allowed my son to breathe.  He had no human remorse or regards for my son’s life.

Also, that paragraph he wrote, I don’t believe that he wrote it or ever seen it.  He might have signed it,  after it was pushed in front of his face. It seemed like something his lawyers secretary had written and his lawyer told him to sign here as if he was signing a lawyers paper for representation.  And then they threw it out to the family.   “Here take this, the family of Eric Garner.  I’m sorry.  Here it is.  Read it.”  That’s what it seemed like for me. Not for 1 minute did I believe that phony apology.  There was no sincerity on his apology.  Even if it was, “We Do Not Accept it.”  My son is gone.  He is still out there walking around on the loose.  He should be convicted of homicide.  And yet, he’s breathing and he is free. We will never forgive him.  I don’t know if we could ever forgive him.

SKII:  How did you feel when the verdict came back saying; your son died from homicide?

Mrs. Carr:  We thought right then and there it was a slam dunk.  But it wasn’t.  It was never a slam dunk.  That’s why we’re out here.  We got to fight for justice.  We got to do our own rally for justice.  We are in the middle of a broken justice system.  Somebody needs to come and calibrate it.

I never heard of Ferguson before.  I don’t know anything about that city.  What I do know about it, I feel, they were wrong with the verdict of not convicting that cop, Wilson.  If they were coming at you with a weapon, I can understand the circumstances in which Police have to take in regards to saving their own life from that man with a gun.  But, my son did not have a gun and they knew this.  My son just broke up a fight moments earlier. He was hanging out in front of that store talking to other people.  I feel, because of the location where Eric was and they were already familiar with Eric’s background,  because they had arrested Eric before for selling “LOOSE CIGARETTES”,  Pantaleo,  probably needed an arrest that day and he knew Eric was an easy target.   He knew Eric might have some cigarettes on him.  They chose the wrong one that day and killed the wrong one that day.

There should be equality for all.  Whether your Black, Brown, White, Hispanic, Asian, Indian, Hawaiian, Canadian etc.. All of us deserve Equality.  We all should receive the same type of treatment.  Let the punishment suit the crime.  Death is not the punishment for “Loose Cigarettes.”  That’s the way I feel about it.  They heard him say “I Can’t Breathe.”  Everyone in the whole wide world heard Eric say, “I Can’t Breathe.  It was on video as clear as night is to day.  I don’t understand how they came up to that conclusion that today is the day for Eric to be arrested.  He should not have died.

Police bashed Reverend Al Sharpton.  He is the only one that’s been standing with us.  People would say; Oh you shouldn’t be with him .  He’s an opportunist.  But what are you.  I didn’t see you jump out of bed to stand by our side.  You didn’t come up to the plate.  Some people have said;  if there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know.  They always have something to say. But when the chips are down, where are those people who said, if I needed something just let them know or if anything they can do for me, just let them Know.  They are nowhere to be found.  It’s a shame.  He’s been there for us, everywhere.  No matter how far or how long an issue, he has been there for us.  So don’t bash Reverend Al Sharpton.  He is there with us throughout the whole nine yards.

I feel Eric was the Sacrificial Lamb to open up everyone eyes.  Sean Bell, Michael Brown and all of those other cases was wronged and there was injustice for all.  Each case had its wrong doings by the police but, I feel Eric’s case has proven that people are just tired of the injustice.  Black, White, people of all races and of all work backgrounds, everyone is tired of the wrongful deaths especially when they had one which was videotaped so clearly.  There were no cutting of the tape and pasting of the tape back together which would have shown skipping of the scenes. NO!  It was a clear tape that showed what happened to my son from the beginning to the end.  People all over the world saw this and when they heard “NO Indictment” ,  the people became irate.

I always asked for peace.  I asked people to not be violent from the beginning of this case because I saw what was going on in the Fergusons case.  Their situation was bad, riots, vandalism, terrorizing and fighting back with the police where the police had to use tear gas.  Now that was crazy.  The people of Ferguson were tired of being beaten down by the police and I could relate to that.  But I always asked for peace.  If they were to march, march peacefully please.  No terrorizing; no vandalism; nothing but peacefulness should occur; nothing bad please.  That’s the way it was for a while until the indictment.

I was still asking for peace after that but, we can’t be by the side of someone who wanted different.  Some people got arrested because they were truly tired.  I am also but, I am not going to fight them with my fists or by damaging property or anything like that.  I am going to fight them peacefully and with dignity for my son and for all who have went to jail for Eric’s cause;  I’m fighting for all, in which the same wrong doing happened to them;  And for all who have been falsely accused by the Police.  And for all who have struggled to get a good job but, because the Police have blemished their records,  no-one wants to hire them.  And for all who have been falsely accused by the Police and that person have spent most of their life in jail, until they found that one piece of evidence which had to set them free.  Even though Eric was, as I would say, “The Sacrificial Lamb”,  Eric’s case truly opened up everyone eyes as to how messed up our “JUSTICE SYSTEM” is and something about it needs to change.   As I said earlier in my story everyone is tired.  I have never seen anything so magnificent as far as the “March” on December the 13^th, 2015.  So many people  came out to protest against the police.  Thousands  upon thousands of people marched in Washington DC and in New York.  That was amazing.  Do you remember the “March” in Staten Island for Eric and everyone else who sustained an injustice by the Police? Thousands of people marched that day. also  I’ve never seen anything like that before.  Everyone marched in peace.  No one was violent.  I’ve been asking for peace since the beginning my son was killed.   That’s what they gave me. “A Peaceful March.”  Thank you everyone.  I will continue to fight for my son Eric.  I will continue to fight for injustice for all.  That’s why I’m fighting…  That’s why I’m fighting.